Let the emotions roll

So I am apparently hormonally emotional right now because I don't know if I want to scream or cry...went with cry fyi!

It's not a 'sit in a corner I can't handle this' kind of cry, it's a 'overwhelmed with memories' kind of cry and it's my blogs fault!!!

I was going back over some of my old posts because I saw where it said I have been blogging since 08 and man, I had no idea! Just seeing old pictures and reliving special days with my boys has been more than my heart can take today. I've loved it tho. I have some really great memories on here and i'm sooo glad i'm doing this blog!

Homemade Christmas Gifts part 1

So, I'm sooo excited about this gift even though it definitly looks homemade. It's been a while since i've been at the sewing machine and sewing straight lines takes continued practice :)

I got the idea from, I bet you'll be surprised, but I Am Momma-Hear Me Roar and there you
will find a link to Mode Bake shop that has a detailed tutorial. Here is my version of the little wallet. *Notice that her seams are much straighter than mine!

This is totally an upcycled gift made from clothes that were given to me that I couldn't wear, so I will be making them into crafts-with the giver's permission!

A dress I used for the wallet and the mesh underneath

The shirt trim I used

I cut out my size from dress/mesh and used a lightweight interfacing inbetween for support.

I cut 4 small rectangles to hold cards and sewed the wallet together

I wanted to round the edge and a cd was the perfect guide

Here's both sides sewn and rounded

I then trimmed the pieces for the cards

Then I measured and sewed each end together, so the cards wouldn't fall out

I sewed the pieces on to one end and trimmed off extra material

Beginning to take shape, and look like a wallet

I trimmed the whole thing, found a rattle and recycled the velcro, then put a button in the middle for the last touch

Again, has some mistakes um,charm to it, but I plan on making a couple more so they will improve. Not bad when I haven't crafted in forever. Next I'll post pics of the biker bracelet I made for my brother in law and wild rags for my brother!!!

Inspiration

Ok, so between Tonya and Amanda, i'm becoming obsessed with millions of blogs!!!! Here are a few that I'm absolutely loving:


My Favorite

another

last one

These crafty ladies are who I inspire to be. Well, crafty individuals who seem to have it all together anyway. I can't wait for you to check back and see what i'm doing to the kids playroom/office, and my sewing/craft wall(kitchen)!!!

I feel like I have a new direction in life and i'm actually excite about getting off the couch and making the journey. A year ago I was in a deep funk and yesterday ran across a journal entry I'd made. I'll spare you all the heart felt detail, and just tell you that life has come around. It wasn't full of bellyaching woes (although i'm a little surprised), just my desires for the future and losing who I thought I was and figuring out who I'm becoming. So as we gear up for the holidays which will soon bring about New Year Resolutions, i'm starting to put mine into practice, so by 2011 I'll be in full swing.

My "two" do's lists

List One: ~house

1. GET ORGANIZED!!!!!-School is out, so everything that I have been putting off or pushing to the side is getting done before I go insane! (Expect a call Casie)
2. Get on a consistent schedule with my cleaning
3. Get on a good schedule with the boys
4. Have everything ready (clean, organized, scheduled) so i'm prepared for spring semester and hopefully won't feel so overwhelmed with my surroundings.

List Two: ~personal

1. Start going to bed NO LATER than midnight!!!!!
2. Get up at 5 er 6:00 each morning.
3. Keep up the cooking (eating out 2 in 3wks!!)
4. Start exercising with the boys everyday
5. Going to start making a point to have time with John (looking for a babysitter)
6. Having some me time

I'm writing a book

As the kids get older, it gets harder to remember the true meaning of Christmas with the flash of new toys and the familiar sound of "HOHOHO". We have always tried really hard to incorporate the two into Christmas, but keep emphasis on it being about Jesus' birth and not Santa bringing toys. So i'm on a mission to write a book that will do just that. I have few ideas and of course falling back on how we explain Santa to Seth.

Quick version being nice guy St. Nick was so happy that Jesus was born he wanted to celebrate by being nice and giving gifts to everyone. It's become a tradition and to show our love and unselfishness we give gifts-like the wise men.

Haha, I may have confused YOU, cause i'm pretty sure I just confused myself and I know the story we tell, but you get the idea. Any ideas, or would you like to share how you explain things in your house?

Memories in the making

While reading a post on my friends blog I started thinking about the traditions we already have made, but new ones to add to it. Here are a few that we do.

Each year we all pick out a new ornament for the tree, then go get hot chocolate, drive through the Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music (usually chipmunks)
Seth helps me bake cookies or some type of baked good to pass out to friends.
Before the boys were born, I found a book ornament at Walmart that said "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and was full of empty pages. I grabbed a couple and have been able to record what we did or was special to each boy every Christmas Eve they were born. I love going back to read and remember.
Christmas Eve night, we turn off all the lights except for the tree, read from the Bible the story of Jesus' birth, sing a few Christmas carols then say our prayers and tuck the boys into bed.

I want to check out a couple different blogs I've read that some people have mentioned. Mostly on Tonya's blog (link above) to add new ideas and ornaments to our holiday. What does your family do?

Turkey and 'ketchup'

So i'm a little behind on my postings but I'm going to start with Thanksgiving.

I love seeing all the family, but the Thanksgiving I enjoy the most is the one with have the day after with just us: John, the boys and myself. I LOVE cooking a big meal for my family, having all the yummy smells in the house, listening to the boys play, and just simply enjoying being a family. This year we had friends join us and it was so much fun. John smoked our turkey this year and WOW!!!! I'm not even kidding when I say that it was the BEST turkey I have ever had. You outdid yourself this year John! Along with the turkey we had dressing, potato casserole, sweet potato's, green beans, ham (thank to the Choctaw Indians) rolls,cranberry sauce and pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing. It was indeed a feast. I loved sharing it with friends and making new memories for us. Our family truly has so much to be thankful for!

Not that I don't think they are important, my family-husband, children, family and friends-but i'm sure that it is a given I am extemely thankful for those things. This year my main thankfulness is John's job and bills!!!!

Bills? Yes, I am extremely thankful, well maybe not extremely, but thankful none the less. Do you know what we just did this month? We paid all our bills...ALL our bills, didn't have to juggle this one or that one to make it all stretch or like usual put a few off because we now have income!!!!!!

For those of you that don't know, Jan. 2009 John was caught up in a layoff from his company due to the economy. He was unemployed till he found a job in June that was an experimental position (company seeing if they were ready for expansion) which they were not so in July the new department was dissolved and with it his new job. We were back on the job hunt until an unexpected blessing happened in Oct. Long story short, someone contacted him asking if he was still looking because a position was open and they would like to talk to him about filling it. A casual meeting to go over details was set up, but when he got there it was actually a job offer. This was on a Friday and we got the official word that all had been approved the following Monday. Two weeks later, he started. He is now working as a financial accountant for the Choctaw Nation. Not the casino, but for the tribe. He loves the job, the people he works for and in just the short time he has been there we have had many many extra blessings. *the 15lb ham given to all employee's as a thank you for working for us. I thank God everyday for this job, for more than just the money coming back in. But because John is finally working at a job he truley enjoys. His previous job he hated and I don't blame him. Most of the people were wonderful, but the company was horrible. There is no reason employees should work with empty boxes under their desk because you never know when the owner will come in and say "You're fired" give you 10 minutes to get your stuff collected and be escorted out. Not much for work morale.

We have been through many struggles this past year (last couple actually) but we are now slowly climbing up the mountain. I know that God has something for us to learn from our experience though I'm not quite sure of the answer yet. I am thankful for all we have come through, learning,growing and becoming closer as a family the whole way! Thank you Lord for your many blessings and may the spirit of thanksgiving continually be not only in my heart, but on my lips!

Old friends meet again!

It's been a while since i've posted, just been so overwhelmed with school work. I have so much I want to catch up on but that's for a later time. Just have to make a quick note to a special reader.

Yesterday at church, a good friend made it back into town. I'm sure she was expecting just to sit and enjoy the service but her old duty called her back to the piano. The past couple of months, it has been a roller coaster on the piano. We have had differnt people who knew how to play piano help out, while other times we had no one. Trying to lead song service to each persons style can be quite a challenge. But yesterday 3 friends were back together again...the piano, the piano player and myself leading songs. Not that I am saying her playing (which I think it is) or my singing is anything spectacular, because it's only about worshipping in church and giving God praise. But it's nice to have someone who feels what you are feeling and can follow along because they were headed in that direction as well. It was nice to have you back for a visit, and I look forward to the next one!

ps.
on a tacky note, haven't you missed the specials sung in Q# (Q sharp is not a key or anywhere close to one for my non-music reading friends lol)

Party for one please!

So, I know I have used this occasionally as an outlet but for the most part I try very hard to keep it upbeat and about the kids. But sometimes there has to be a release and even though you may write it down for yourself, there is something to knowing that someone has heard you. So please humor me as I wallow in my personal pity party.

As some of you know we have a lot going on in our lives right now and none of them are in the same direction! I have been overwhelmed, stressed, scared, mad, resentful, jealous while at the same moment feeling peace, joy, happiness, love, calm and thankful. It has been a roller coaster of emotions to say the least. But at some point you usually hit an obstacle of the simplest most insignificant kind that makes your well constructed wall crumble to the ground leaving you feeling defenseless, vulnerable and hurt. The straw the broke the camel's back so to speak.

So here we go. I love my children more than anything, and it breaks my heart to see them love and want to be with someone so bad and the feelings are not returned. What makes it hurt so bad is that I share those same feelings and take it personal when I am told "no,it's not a good day" "just can't do it, maybe another day" or i'm fed lines about how if things were different they would be able to spend time with them but blah blah blah. So as if the hurt isn't bad, anger is placed on top of it with this scenario.

Seth is a newborn: "it will be so nice when he's a couple months older and it will be easier to take care of him because he can tell you better what he needs"

couple months older: "it will be so nice when he's about a year old and can toddle around beside us, then I can talk to him while I do my stuff"

same thing for 2, then 3 and now here it is Seth is almost 4 years old and the same empty promises are still being given. On top of that Aaron is in the picture and same thing is happening to him. Seth is still small and when you say you will do something...YOU WILL DO IT!!! He has a steel trap memory like most children and he doesn't forget. Then when you back out, Seth is left with a broken heart and tears and mommy and daddy trying to make him understand why once again you didn't come through. My heart can only handle so much, but what do you do?

For me, I get the same thing, so I know exactly how my kids are feeling. To have sent invitations to please come to dinner for over 6 years and not once has it been accepted for one reason or another. But then to hear that at the spur of the moment, you receive an invitation and not only do you accept but you drive an hour and a half to get there...REALLY?!!!!! Thanks a lot!

I have my own family, John-Seth-Aaron, that I love more than life it's self and I have no time to deal with one sided relationships, but I can't let it go. If during a conversation with them, you were to take away listening to what is going on in their life, critiquing mine and what I should be doing or how I should be handling things, excuses and empty promises, then there is nothing left. Why do I hold on to that and allow it to upset me so bad and continue with a relationship that is obviously not healthy...because I WANT it to work, I WANT it to change more than anything in the whole world. So I guess I really have no place to be complaining since i'm choosing to continue on. But if there is a chance that God can work this out then I want to be around for it, to enjoy what I've waited for for so long. I know God can, but since we've been given the gift of free will, if that person doesn't want to change...

Have you ever wanted someone to see you for you! Not who they want to think you are, or hear what they want to hear but actually know you for you. Your likes, dislikes, dreams, hopes, fears. What you want for your children, what you would do if you could do anything in the world, even just your favorite color and most importantly how much you love them and just want to be a part of their life with no strings attached. I actually hope none of you can sympathize with this feeling, but if you can then i'm praying for you. And know that I think you are the greatest person in the world...even with your faults!

Times are different now

Maybe your family was different, but one thing I got from my parents was to always lend a helping hand. I remember when we were little, if someone was on the side of the road, we always stopped to see if there was anything we could do. If it was my mom and us girls and we passed a women-especially if she had children with her-we always stopped to see if we could take them somewhere. I can't tell you how many times I remember crawling into the back seat (not always willingly) so we could let some stranger crawl in and take them to their destination. Not always did this stranger smell so pleasant either. *most of you are probably having racing thought about how dangerous and unsafe this was, which leads me to my point.

Most of us think that way, because now days it IS dangerous! Oh, I'm sure it was during that time too, but people didn't seem to be as, well, evil as they are now. You didn't fear that it was some ploy to get you to pick them up so they could turn around and rape/kill you. It wasn't some sick pedophiles way of gaining access to your kids. No most times, they actually needed a ride and were appreciative for it.

Tonight I passed someone in my hunt for working Internet so I could take my tests that I was panicking over, which turned out not to be due till the next day...sheesh. Anyway, as I was on Texoma Parkway turning onto 82, I saw in the pouring down rain this precious old man and his dog, on a bicycle waiting to cross the road. I had cars behind me, but for some reason I REALLY felt inclined to help him, and take them somewhere out of the rain. With cars waiting, there was nothing I could do about it at that point, so I circled back around to find him but couldn't. I did eventually end up passing him again, and due to traffic, wasn't where I could stop that time either. But I did notice the sign on the back of his bike and looked it up when I got home. My little old man is actually traveling across America in support of dog shelters trying to raise awareness and money to help support them. I'm sure he is a sweet man, who is madly in love with his dog, but by first glace you probably wouldn't think that and surely wouldn't consider helping him.
Isn't it sad that times have gotten this way. I think so. I'm not all that old, but I miss being able to know who your neighbors were, knowing it was safe to ride your bike around the block. Helping a person in need and not worry about their intentions.

Maybe it's one of my classes- Race Gender and Ethics- that really has me thinking, or maybe it's just late night rambling...who knows. Either way we are studying the the difference in way people are treated due to race/gender and economic/social status, or just off your first impression. I know i'm guilty of making a judgement call just based off they way a person looks or smells.
I may never try to help someone on the side of the road again - especially if I have my boys with me - but I can at least give a smile, have a kind word, or maybe if a waiter/waitress or check out person is a little rude, try harder to be friendly because who knows what they may be dealing with that day. A kind person may be just what they need to make a difference. Much like the blog I learned about from Amanda Operation Beautiful, I am going to try to brighten the day of everyone I come in contact with.

Go check out my roadside guy, who's name is Leo and his little dog Sassy Max, and I hope that you are having a WONDERFUL DAY!!!!

It's been a little while, and I had promised myself I was going to be more consistent in writing mainly so I could keep up with all the cute things the boys are doing. Sad thing is I mentally check them, but when I sit down to write I can't remember for the life of me what I mentally checked!!!!!

This coming from a person that spent almost an hour looking for my glasses only to catch my reflection and realize they were on my face the whole time....sheesh!

Things have been a little busy around our parts. Getting packed and moved, school has started for me and that has me way overwhelmed right now till I get back into the swing of things, and we keep having little bouts of mystery virus *not to mention our meningitis scare!

I hope that by next week we will be back in a functioning routine. As of now it's been me starting my homework at 10pm and wrapping up somewhere around 2-3am. That would still give me plenty of time to grab some sleep before 6:30 comes around, except that Aaron likes to wake up at 3:30 EVERY morning. It's much better than what it was though-every hour-so i'll take it. Maybe he will sleep better at the new house?

1st campus trip

Just a quick note *because i'm procrastinating!

I am about to make my first trip to SOSU campus as an official student for the 2010-2011 school year. I haven't been in school since 2006...I think I might throw up!

mirror mirror on the wall

*please read this post with humor in mind :)

If only....Freckled Glory

Do you see what I see,
when your eyes rest upon me?
It hurts to abhor myself so thoroughly;
Hurts to continue repeating, ever saying….

If only…

…my chest was fuller…
…my waist was slimmer…
…my legs longer…
…my thighs thinner…

Staring, staring, yet there is only
the shine of tears to see,
glistening at what I can never achieve –
perfection unavailable, yet ever taunting me…

If only…

…my lashes were thicker…
…my eyes were larger…
…my lips plumper…
…my hair blonder…

Teeny tiny flaws my appearance marring;
penetrating, permeating, corrupting my being –
ruining the unreal expectation I am inflicting;
the impossible standard I can never meet…

If only…

I would cease ignoring,
The beauty inside me…
Face of mine
with freckled glory.
author unknown

I found this when looking through poetry and loved it because it fit a post i've been wanting to write. Since turning 30, I have been really evaluating my life. I have so many thoughts of 'I wish' that in actuality could be reality 'if only' I changed my attitude and decided to do something about it.

A stronger, more committed, Christian walk
My relationship with John as a wife and friend
A better mother to my boys-more patient and enjoy each moment
My self image and better health

All but the last are worked on daily but can always stand a little more effort. The last is the one I really need to do some work on.
I have no intentions of filling my head with delusions of being 5'6 with long slender legs and not an ounce of cellulite anywhere. However, I want to look in the mirror and appreciate the reflection that is staring back at me.

I joke with my sister all the time about changing my name to Kris because I see a very manly person looking back at me most days. I laughed when I read the title ...Freckled Glory, because I have these freckles on my upper lip and to me, it gives a shadowed look that, I think, makes me look like I have a mustache. When i'm having a really bad day, I'll come out of the bathroom and chase John around talking to him in a deep man voice saying goofy things like 'come here baby, give me some sugars' *you so have to read that in a man tone or maybe it's a have to be here kind of thing :)

My point is, I can not make my self grow anymore to help slim down my figure.
I can not have Jennifer Anistons hair
I don't want long slender legs, I have to say I like the fact mine are more muscular but more toned would be nice...i'm thinking Jenny Finch!
And if I could get some of my booty up to my chest that would be a plus too.

I could go on and on about things I could change, but i'm working on looking at what I see as imperfections and learning to love them. And when I am able to do that, it will in turn make it more believable when John compliments me on the very things I am insecure about.

In short my goal is to look in the mirror and see this:


And not this: (hahahahahahaha)


by Cynthia L Parker
The Woman Inside of Me

Arms, long and shapely, strong and tone;
Legs, lean thighs, strong calves, defined, well-honed;
Dancing freely, leaping surely, my body plays,
I leap and twirl, turn and bend, stretch and sway.

Walking through a crowd, with pride I stride;
Head up, shoulders back, confidence in my eyes;
Smile on face, laughter bold, power in my step;
Heads turn, I'm alive; I have no regrets.

Proud of self, full of life, confident, able, strong;
I believe in myself my mantra, my song.

In the mirror, in the eyes, of those who pass by
There is another, different woman that I often spy.
She is full-cheeked, fleshy-faced, oval, round;
Arms are soft, a bit flabby; legs are heavy, not sound.
Belly rounded, hips broad; why can't they see
The other woman, hiding, inside of me.

randoms

So John posted this on his FB a while back, but I want to have it here so i'll remember. Seth and his nature facts. Do you know why turtles have a shell? It's so they can hide from creditors! hahaha love it! Mr. Aaron and i have a wierd game (some may think) that we play that I love. He's a very demanding child contantly giving grunts of dissapproval. It cracks me up that when the dogs come around he start with this 'ehhhh ehhhh' in a low deep voice. Too funny. But i'm getting sidetracted. When he gets impatient i've been trying to distract him by turning his grunts into a game. I match the tone in which he grunts and turn it into a hum. He usually stops what he's doing, crawls over and puts his mouth up to my mouth (that's the wierd part i guess) and then hums back at me. I keep changing my pitch and i'm really surprised at how quickly he matches me. He can definately carry a tune! I also think he's going to have curls, and he loves to play bashful, which is the cutest thing ever!!!

Quick Seth story: Our conversation over breakfast this morn

M: Eat your breakfast Seth
S: Well...(hands held out in an "ok just stop" fashion) I hate to tell you this
cause I don't want to hurt your feelings.
M: Tell me what? I can handle it
S: Are you sure? Ok well here it comes, now I don't want to break your
heart...can you handle it?
M: I hope so. Just give it to me and i'll try to deal
S: Well, I don't really like to eat your breakfasts

Bwhahahahahahaha I LOVE it! :) Seriously, what did we do before we had our own personal comedian?!

Changing my viewpoint

Ok, so i've been quiet lately, one because we have been super busy but mostly because i've been extremely emotional. But now that I can handle it, I will explain my situation and see how you guys handle it if you have this problem.

I have really been praying hard that God will change my way of looking at things. See, we have been staying with family the last little bit and I feel that I have missed soooo much with Aaron being little. Now are those things major, not really, but to a momma...yes! He didn't get a nursery set up, I am selfish and don't want to share all of his first with everyone. I want some to just be for us, then later get to share it with the gparents. I have been taking camera pictures like a mad woman, but we haven't had the finances to keep up with professional pics like we did with Seth. And altho Seth wore hand-me-downs, he had plenty of his own clothes that we bought him. Not so much the case with Aaron.(he still has had new clothes just not the same amount)
He is a well rounded happy child that knows without a doubt he is loved. He has all the basic needs taken care of and then some, so there is no reason to technically be upset but you momma's understand i'm sure. My prayer has been that instead of dwelling on the 'missed' I focus soley on what we did share and have with him. If I put just as much effort into getting his book together, taking my pictures to be blown up and do my own editing and retell him the wonderful memories we had with him as a baby, he will never know that I feel he was slighted unless I tell him (or 15yrs later he finds this blog post!) I have really put in a lot of time and energy getting things together for him, and ya know what...he actually got a lot that I didn't realize. My focus had just been on the wrong thing.

Has this feeling happend to any of you, and how did you deal with it?
Here's some pics of my little bug...

So far so good!

Ok so call me Amanda teehee! Amanda has always been great with the pictures, but I think it's funny we decided the same day to post our meal pics. You're my blogger hero Amanda lo

So, we are on day 3 of doing good with our foods. I did a lot of research on changing eating habits and how to encourage picky eaters. I have to say that I'm finding a lot of the problem to be me! I think because I expected mealtime to be a fight, that's exactly what I got. Now i'm trying to approach it in a positive way for both of us and make it a fun experience.

Seth has always been a great su chef and LOVES to help me cook dinner. He can crack a mean egg people. But now we are looking up recipies together and finding what he thinks looks good. Then i'm trying to focus our meals according to the ingredients in his. I'm behind on my dates, but you'll get the idea.

Wed lunch:
Octupus in the Sea (blue noodles with smokes sausage)

He helped me cook the noodles, put in the blue food coloring, then helped cut the octupus legs on the sausage. (he didn't know about the mixed veggie puree that went in the noodles before the food coloring he he)
He liked it so score one for creativity!

Since he was having smoked saugsage and noodles this is what we had. It was yummy!


Thursdays breakfast we all had parfaits:granola with dates, raisins and almonds, blueberries and kiwi as our fruit. I let Seth put the fruit in a baggie and smash it all up, then mixed it in his yogurt. He didn't eat all of it, but half was good enough.

This morning I was running slow cause I was up all night with the baby. John and I had scrambled eggs w/feta cheese and toast. Seth had slightly toast bread, pb with sugar free jelly and banana. Now one of the things I learned was sometimes they will eat something they used to eat if it's given to them in a different way. I remembered Seth loves toothpicks, so I sliced the banana and gave him a toothpick to eat it with. This was the result:




Ate it all and asked for more!!!!! It's been a long time since he's had a banana. Brother enjoyed them too.

Day 1...overcoming picky eating

Ok, so I asked some moms for food ideas for Seth. I am determined to try and slowly break this cycle of not eating in a non frustrating and enjoyable way. The dr tells me it is nothing to worry about and he will outgrow it, but it's been almost 2 yrs and seems to only be getting worse. The list of things we can now mark off that he will no longer eat just this past year is frightening. We now longer eat:
bananas
grapes
mixed fruit
toast
oatmeal
waffles
pasta

Now that might not seem like a lot, but when you only ate a handful of things to begin with, that's HUGE!!!

So instead of cracking down and MAKING him eat, I've decided that I am going to continue to make him try at least 3 bites (more if it's not too big of a fuss) at his own pace along with something I know he will eat.

Here's what I made for breakfast this morning. It was lightly toasted bread (if it's still soft he will eat it) with about half an egg to make the face.


This is what he gave it


This is how much he ate of it, and considering it's our first day and he usually instantly gags and gets sick if I make him try eggs I consider this a success!!!!


We finished up with our usual pancakes and peanut butter. Tomorrow we try a parfait!

Here's a couple picks of my other eater...no problems there :)

4th of July!

Well, this was Aaron's first 4th and so many great memories were made. It started Sat. with us going out for lunch at Cracker Barrel. Both boys were soooo good. We had the best meal ever. It's soo nice when there is no fussing and everyone is on their best behavior. Aaron and Seth sat beside each other and I wasn't sure how that would work, but it was awesome.

Later that night, we went to a cookout at some friends house. In college, John and his friends would get together and play games and for some reason it got named Couple's Skate Night. This was my first one with most of the old gang, and what a good time for a bunch of old married couples all with kids :) It rained on our cookout, but we didn't let that stop our fun!!!







Because we stayed out late, John stayed home from church with the baby. Seth and I went because I had to lead singing. Now during the service, Seth was tired and ready to go home. He flipped flopped around and layed all over me. Trying to keep him wrangled I was having a hard time concentrating on the message, so I knew for sure he wasn't listening...WRONG!!!!

Brief snippet: As christians we have fallen asleep to our surroundings, we need to wake up, stay awake and not fall asleep.

What Seth learned: 'See mom, I don't have to take naps anymore, Pop said we have to stay awake and quit falling asleep!' At least he was listening!!!! LOVE IT!

John cooked some hotdogs for us then off to the fireworks. It wasn't a very good show, but the boys liked it and that's all that really matters anyway. It has been a great 4th and I hope everyone else enjoyed theirs.

Full steam ahead

So since Aaron has cut his 2nd tooth and they no longer seem to be bothering him, he has decided to take off with his other developmental skills. He has been so close to going from crawling to sitting himself up and yesterday he did it! He just needed to learn how to give that one little push. I'm still trying to catch him in action but no luck yet. Of course it happens every time I put the camera down...boo!

His little personality is just exploding too, and he loves to play bashful with the ladies. He talks and babbles all the time and loves for you to cheer for him so he can clap his hands. He is changing soo fast and I feel like I can't keep up. Slow down little man, your momma's emotions can handle it!

Last Friday, John surprised me with a date night. His mom had volunteered to keep the kids and he took her up on it and we had a nice dinner. It was long overdue. It was cute because when we told Seth he said "So we get to listen to Mema and Papa rules, not mommy and daddy rules?" He was excited about his night out too :)

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Tonight when I got home, I hugged my boys just a little bit tighter and for a little bit longer when saying hello. We stayed up and enjoyed being a family tonight, even past normal bedtime, just because. My "I love you's" were filled with even more love tonight as my precious babies went to sleep. All because life it too precious to be taken for granted.

I came home tonight from a memorial service for a friend who took her own life. I'm sad that she felt her only way out was to do that, but i'm mostly mad that she was selfish enough to not think about what this would do to her precious 3yr old little boy. He only saw his father occasionally, and lived with her full time. How is that helpless little baby suppose to understand why his mommy won't come back for him? I pray he understands the best he can and God heals his hurt soon.

I unfortunately understand depression, because I had pre partum depression with Aaron, and let me tell you it was a POWERFUL monster. BUT, as sad as I was, as much as I didn't care about anything. As much as I wish I could have crawled in a whole and NEVER had to see anyone again, the thought of Seth and little unborn Aaron kept me trying because no matter how bad I felt, I had made a choice and my responsibility was to them!!!

Her actions are something I just can't wrap my mind around so i'm not even going to try anymore. I just pray for peace, love and forgiveness to surround her family.

When I found out Sunday (yes Father's Day of all days) it gave new meaning to the time I had with my family. So yesterday I put the housework to the side and spend the day lovin on my boys. We had such a good time. We played, watched movies, went to Monday Madness which happened to be about Seth's favorite things...dinosaurs!!! He laughed at Dinosaur George so hard that at one point he fell out of his chair :) Then we made up songs and sang at the top of our lungs. We made up a new word for days we had to go to Target and Walmart...Tarmart (Seth likes it) Aaron had a blast with all the kids laughing and got so excited and would clap and do his high pitch squeal, and he tried his hand at singing with us. Precious memories were made that's for sure.

Sometimes life gets crazy and i'd like to run away, but I thank God for every minute nd have a better appreciation for all of it.


No time to do the housework,
cause my babies want to play.
No dishes, sweeping, mopping
or laundry to put away.

Today is another precious gift
that God has given to me
A day to laugh and hug my boys
and be as silly as can be

For we know not what our future holds
there are no guarantees
Our loved ones that we hold so dear
will be there for us to see

John you are my closet friend
I love you more than words can say
Seth you are my precious 'Stink'
and love to watch you laugh and play

Aaron, my handsome slobber monkey
how you fill my heart with joy
Thank you God for blessing me
with my family full of boys!

Aaron

Mr Aaron has quite the personality going on now. He is such a joy to be around and I love his sheepish grin he has. It's so cute to watch him wave at us and say HI and whisper da da when John walks in the room. And every now and then he would say ma ma, but as of yesterday (Father's Day) he says it every time he cries for me...melts my heart. He loves his big brother too and no matter how fussy he is, Seth can always come to the rescue and get a smile or a laugh out of him. He is definitely a stinker :) The last picture is his disapproving look to grass, hahaha

Seth

This video is a little lengthy, but if your interested in hearing a good book it's well worth the watch. Notice how his eyes change when he goes from reading to embellishment! I'm sooo glad he loves to read and learn

Motherhood: My Only Gem

“She came tonight as I sat alone, the girl I used to be…
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye and questioned reproachfully;

Have you forgotten the many plans and hopes that I had for you?
The career, the splendid fame, and all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height with all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you and the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad for I wanted her please with me…
This slender girl from the shadowy past the girl that I used to be
So gently rising, I took her hand, and guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay innocent, sweet, and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems, and precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love, and the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls for the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest, she smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw that the woman that I am now, pleased the girl I used to be.

- Author Unknown
Quoted in Womanly Dominion by Mark Chanski

Car Wash

Have you ever watched Shark Tale? We love that movie and especially the music. It's so funny to watch the boys jam out at the end to Car Wash. Seth gets his gangsta face on during the rap, and Aaron squeals sooo loud. I'm trying hard to get it on video. Till then, hope you enjoy the song addition :)