mirror mirror on the wall

*please read this post with humor in mind :)

If only....Freckled Glory

Do you see what I see,
when your eyes rest upon me?
It hurts to abhor myself so thoroughly;
Hurts to continue repeating, ever saying….

If only…

…my chest was fuller…
…my waist was slimmer…
…my legs longer…
…my thighs thinner…

Staring, staring, yet there is only
the shine of tears to see,
glistening at what I can never achieve –
perfection unavailable, yet ever taunting me…

If only…

…my lashes were thicker…
…my eyes were larger…
…my lips plumper…
…my hair blonder…

Teeny tiny flaws my appearance marring;
penetrating, permeating, corrupting my being –
ruining the unreal expectation I am inflicting;
the impossible standard I can never meet…

If only…

I would cease ignoring,
The beauty inside me…
Face of mine
with freckled glory.
author unknown

I found this when looking through poetry and loved it because it fit a post i've been wanting to write. Since turning 30, I have been really evaluating my life. I have so many thoughts of 'I wish' that in actuality could be reality 'if only' I changed my attitude and decided to do something about it.

A stronger, more committed, Christian walk
My relationship with John as a wife and friend
A better mother to my boys-more patient and enjoy each moment
My self image and better health

All but the last are worked on daily but can always stand a little more effort. The last is the one I really need to do some work on.
I have no intentions of filling my head with delusions of being 5'6 with long slender legs and not an ounce of cellulite anywhere. However, I want to look in the mirror and appreciate the reflection that is staring back at me.

I joke with my sister all the time about changing my name to Kris because I see a very manly person looking back at me most days. I laughed when I read the title ...Freckled Glory, because I have these freckles on my upper lip and to me, it gives a shadowed look that, I think, makes me look like I have a mustache. When i'm having a really bad day, I'll come out of the bathroom and chase John around talking to him in a deep man voice saying goofy things like 'come here baby, give me some sugars' *you so have to read that in a man tone or maybe it's a have to be here kind of thing :)

My point is, I can not make my self grow anymore to help slim down my figure.
I can not have Jennifer Anistons hair
I don't want long slender legs, I have to say I like the fact mine are more muscular but more toned would be nice...i'm thinking Jenny Finch!
And if I could get some of my booty up to my chest that would be a plus too.

I could go on and on about things I could change, but i'm working on looking at what I see as imperfections and learning to love them. And when I am able to do that, it will in turn make it more believable when John compliments me on the very things I am insecure about.

In short my goal is to look in the mirror and see this:


And not this: (hahahahahahaha)


by Cynthia L Parker
The Woman Inside of Me

Arms, long and shapely, strong and tone;
Legs, lean thighs, strong calves, defined, well-honed;
Dancing freely, leaping surely, my body plays,
I leap and twirl, turn and bend, stretch and sway.

Walking through a crowd, with pride I stride;
Head up, shoulders back, confidence in my eyes;
Smile on face, laughter bold, power in my step;
Heads turn, I'm alive; I have no regrets.

Proud of self, full of life, confident, able, strong;
I believe in myself my mantra, my song.

In the mirror, in the eyes, of those who pass by
There is another, different woman that I often spy.
She is full-cheeked, fleshy-faced, oval, round;
Arms are soft, a bit flabby; legs are heavy, not sound.
Belly rounded, hips broad; why can't they see
The other woman, hiding, inside of me.