still hangin' in!

Well Folks,

Seems like it's been 700 yrs since my last post, and may be that long again till the next. We are in a responsibility battle right now. Verizon says that everything is fine on their end and the dead phone jacks are the apt. responsibility, while the apt says the line from the box to the apt is fine, Verizon needs to come install a main line (which they will not do). So needless to say that leaves us paying for phone/internet that we are not being able to use and right now seems no hope of a happy ending :(

So when I can at my parents or my in-laws I will check in.

I have a LOT of things going around in my head and I am not sure where to even begin? So I think I will end for today by saying that I'm not sure what God's future has in store for us, how many more hills we can climb only to find ourselves back in a deep valley. But I am trying my best to hold onto God's promises that he will take care of us and especially to the one that he will never give us more than we can handle. I feel I have reached that point but maybe God thinks I am stronger than what I feel right now. I am trying hard to change my thinking and not be so controling~which is VERY hard for me. It is a daily battle but I know with the Lord's help we will come out on top...eventually!

I am praying for all my friends that I know are in the same situation that we are all brought through soon.

God

God moves in mysterious ways...I have said that and heard that a billion times. But it became very real to me tonight!

I haven't posted in a while because we've been moving and do not have the computer set up at the new house, but I drove over here because I just HAD to share what happened to me tonight and give praise to a wonderful God!!!

I was at Bible study tonight and some really powerful stuff has hit me during the course of this study on Esther by Beth Moore. Tonight's was on fear (Esther's fear of talking to the King...it's good stuff, go read and find out why) Anyway, afterwards one of my friends came up to me and said she had something for me. She told me how strange this was going to seem but after going home, she recieved something in the mail...for me!!!! It had an envelope inside and on the front these were the instructions:

Top Secret Mission
1. Hand deliver this envelope to Kristi Shilling
2. Kristi, you are not allowed to ask ANY questions
3. friend, you are not allowed to ask ANY qestions
4. Kriti, open alone
5. Kristi, do not attempt to find out any information about this. Just obey
6. Just deliver, no questions, no comments. This didn't even happen


Inside was a card:

Life's Pathway

At times life's path
seems filled with things
that make the going rough,
And we wish there were
a smoother road
for we feel we've had enough...

But if we pause a moment
and remember Who's in charge,
The hills that loom ahead of us
no longer seem to large.
And every rock before us
when we know we're not alone,
becomes, no just a stumbling block,
but one more stepping stone


Inside:
You've overcome so many things,
and ever time you've grown
Through sheer determination
and the wisdom that you've shown.
So as you face this journey
fromt he moment you begin,
Kinow that I will guide you
and you'll have the strenght to win

Underneath this it was signed God

The contents of this envelope contained a gift card to Walmart for $100.00



Now you can't imagine my shock, disbelief and honestly complete relief to find this. I share this with you not as a pity party and surely not to upset my husband in any way but to give God glory for always meeting a need.

As I said earlier we moved and as most of you know...moving is expensive!!!!! Even if you move within the same town, you pay first months, deposit, transfer fees and just extra in getting back and forth. So this month we were paid and after rent/deposit/bills we had exactly $2.00 left at the end of payday. BUT, we hadn't had a chance to get groceries or gas yet. Now I needed to get groceries before the move but waited and was going to get them later...that didn't happen.

We have been hauling bags around in the back of the car staying with either my parents or his for the time being because of an air conditioning problem at the new house. So we had meals in the evening there, but this past week when we went back to the house and toughed out the heat, not a lot to eat. Let me tell you, if I eat another bologna sandwich...

But I am thankful we did have bologna to eat. We had our very last piece of bread tonight and only one piece of sandwich meat left that we were saving for Seth and then, Well, I didn't know what we were going to do till next payday. I know we could have gone to our parents but they have done sooooo much to help and 3 extra mouths is a lot to feed.

I can't express to you what a blessing this was for us. I haven't really quit crying yet, nor has it really sunk in yet that we can go get groceries. I know this is very selffish of me and now that this has happened, I realize just how petty it was. But Friday is John's birthday and it's the big 3-0. I knew we couldn't go out to eat and more than anything I at least wanted to be able to have him at least a small cake or something to celebrate. I had already apologized and told him to please not be expecting anything because it just didn't work out but we could do something after payday. He is such a wonderful man and didn't give it a second thought.

People I can't tell you how wonderful God is. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, son, baby on the way. And it may not have been much or what we wanted but we did have sandwiches to sustain us to this point. And now, we are able to get us some groceries and it's a walmart giftcard so that's even gas for the vehichles. I honestly can't tell you if it really just appeared out of nowhere into her mailbox, if she really did it and just won't tell me (i broke the rules and tried to find out) or if someone did mail it to her and she nor I will ever know from who. All I can say is THANK YOU!!!!! Thank you God because it all came from you, and thank you to ? for being the person led by God to meet a need for my family.

I'm not even going to spell check this, reread for gramatical errors, so I apologize if it's the biggest bunch of mess you've ever read. But before I can close my eyes tonight, I have to know that I have shared what a wonderful God I serve!

New friends

Last night Seth had the best time ever!

Two of the little boys in our neighborhood stopped by to see his motorcycle. They had water guns with them, so Seth wanted to go get his toy gun to show them. He came inside to get it but the boys left cause they had to go home. It was awful, he cried and cried and was sooo upset. "I wanted to show those boys my gun too" I felt so bad.

John asked him if he wanted to go back outside and play basketball and that finally got him calmed down. He was outside for maybe 10 min with John when the boys came back, but this time they had ALL the other neighborhood kids with them. All the boys stopped to talk to Seth, he was so excited. I was making super but grabbed his gun so he could have it ready this time and met him at the door looking for it. There were probably 10 boys playing with him in the front yard from 7-12yrs old. They took turns with him and let him shoot their water guns, chased him around the yard and played catch with him.

When he came in for supper he was wound up and through the roof. But so excited because "all those big boys came to play with him and they are my new friends". '

If I see them walking or playing today I am for sure going to thank them for making my little boys night last night! That was very nice of them :)

Play time

Both Seth and I spent the weekend sick but are doing much better now. We spent all day Monday in the car and Tuesday we were going for a walk but the rain set in. I surprised Seth by taking him to chick fil a to play with some of his friends and he and I both had a great time. He ran off energy and I got to talk with the momma's. When I told John we were going he was excited and said that Seth had asked him to pray the night before that he would get to play with some friends tomorrow. God answered his precious little prayer with the help of Ben, Trey and Kiefer!

Later that day after nap, he informed me that Jingle Bells had told him that she wanted to go to the puppy store where she could walk on her feet. So off to Petco we went. He was so cute holding her in the car and leading her around the store. I'm glad we got her and they have become the best of buds!!!! When his Mema came to pick him up, she was so depressed, she laid at the front door and cried for him. I tried to make her feel better but she was mad at me because I'm the one that made her go back inside and wouldn't let her go with him. She won't look at me and runs away if I try to pet her. I bet she changes her tune at dinner time!!!!! :P

Mom's Night Out

Last July I heard about mom's groups that you can find online in your area. I searched and ran across of couple different one and after gettin no response from 2, found this one. Finding this group has made a huge difference, not just for me but Seth. We have both found some great friends and have made some lasting memories and I don't know what we'd do without them.

We always do lots of events that are geared for the kids and I love those, but I live for either date night where it's just the parents that go do something as a group or mom's night out. I have to say that this one for me was the best one yet!!!

I love the 80's. The hair, the clothes, the music, the like totally rad lingo :) So we all met at the clubhouse at one of the mom's apt and had a blast. We vegged out w/fondue, veggies and fruit. Dressed up and spent the night just talking, laughing and listening to some great music. You have fun talking to them at the playdates, but there you are so and so's mom. It was great to find out even more about them as an individual. Dad's night is tonight at Buffalo Wild Wings and I hope the guys have just as much fun as we did, but I doubt it :P

Weekend catch up

So it was a busy weekend. Worked Friday night, got off at 6am, left for Frisco by 8 and watched my brother win a State Officer position in the FFA!!!!! We will find out in July what position...be praying for president!
We also went to his last highschool ag banquet on Tuesday. They have the saddest ritual of retiring their jackets. I thought when I retired mine was the saddest day, but I believe watching my brother was worse. I'm sad to think of him as graduated and grown but I couldn't be prouder of the man he's become.





After winning state we came home for a quick nap, then headed to family night at the zoo. The brought out the animals for the kids to pet, had free face painting, bounce houses, drinks and food. It was a really good time. We topped it off with stopping for ice cream on the way home. Boy was I tired, but it was well worth it!






And on a different note, some of my family has asked about a belly pic so here ya go. This is this weekend at 17 wks!

Seth

First I have to tell you what he said last night that made me melt. I was rocking him to sleep on the couch and he leaned up and gave me the sweetest smile. Then gave me a big hug "mmmmmm, I'm love you mommy, you're my best friend ever" awwwww, I hope it always stays that way.

On a funnier note.

At walmart last night, he was really studying one of the ladies that wears the long dresses and the white bandana headpiece. *i'm not really sure what religion or belief they are? kinda like a quaker or something* Anyway, I was getting nervous because I knew he was going to say something and you never know with this kid. We passed her and he asked "what her name mommy" I don't know Seth "then I shall call her wild thing" hahahahahahahaha, I laughed sooooo hard.

That is his favorate book and he's all the time telling me "i'll eat you up" I can't wait till it comes out in the movies to take him. He is going to love it!

Oh and Amanda if you read this. I had told him we were going to walmart but first we had to meet you. When we were driving off he got so upset because we didn't go into the orange walmart with our favorite friends! :)

Have a great holiday everyone and enjoy the 3 day weekend!

Park fun

We met up with the mom's group today and had a little fun at the park. My allergies were killing me but it was fun to get out.

Gymnastics, laundry and road construction

"Hurry up Seth, don't you want to go to gymnatics?"
*screeeeeecch, bang rattle clank vroom vroom screeeeeech*
"SETH, get over here so I can put your clothes on we are gonna be late!"
*dig through MASSIVE pile on laundry to tackle today trying to find something that resembles outfit*
*screeeeeeeeeeeeech BANG BANG BANG errrrrrrrrrrrrk*
"SETH ALLAN, I am going to count to 3 and if you do not have your naked little tush over here, you are going be stay at home with me. No toys, no t.v. no outside, but you are going to help mommy clean ALL DAY LONG"
*screeeech, BANG BANG BANG vroom vroom crash yelling men*

Clothes on, lunch fixed, grab key, glance in mirror as going out door, "great I forgot to fix my hair and I slept on it wet, Oh well, now where did I set those keys again?" grab Seth again and make it out door.

You have got to be kidding me. All the road construction going on is on BOTH sides of my house and I'm stuck in the middle. So I yell at the men already yelling, about to be very upset if they don't move the big honkin pieces of machinery out of my way so I can get my kid to class because I NEEEEED this day to myself

Get them to clear me a way, and we make it. Late but we make it!

I had many battle today, emotional, apiritual, everyday life, laundry and it seemed like one thing after another. I came home but couldn't get to my house. So I drove around and ended up at the laundry matt around the corner. I sat in a shaded part of my car and read my Bible. God gave me Philipians 4:6-9. You should read it. Finally made it home, had a good cry, talked and cried with John, asked friends for some prayers and had a talk w/dad. *Mom I miss you being at home so you can be here for talks too* It turned out to be a good day. There is a lot still left to work on but it's all going to be ok.

Go to pick up Seth and thankfully contrustion is over by now, but I was running late. I get there and he say "my mommy is here, gives me a big hug, see you didn't lose me" That's right Seth, I didn't lose you and so there is nothing to me be upset or worried about because you are still here. My day got even better.

I turned on the radio and was encouraged by many songs, too many to pick one so i'm going to put a playlist on here and add them as I can. Oh and Tonya, bet you can guess the running theme :P Yep, I have many new songs about Praise that I think you will enjoy.

When it's all said and done, just as Seth knows that I didn't lose him, I have to have the same faith that although I think God may be running a little late, he hasn't lost me.

Feeling better

Whew, I'm glad this weekend is over. Seth had a bug, ear infection and strep throat. I managed to catch his bug, and poor John had to take care of us both. I sure hope he doesn't get sick.

But...we are feeling better today. I think we are going to get out of the house for a bit just to get some sunshine. This is going to be a busy week for us. We hope to get the final inspections and last minute details on the house all wrapped up this week. I guess I need to start doing some packing too. I'm so excited about our new beginning, but sad to be ending the chapter in this house. We have had a lot of great memories. It's going to be like leaving an ol' friend! I'm done, cause now i'm sad :(

Sick baby

I have a sick little guy today. His hasn't been eating the last two day and has complained his tummy hurt. We thought it hurt because he was hungry...he sure hasn't slowed down any. Well, last night he was up and down and today has a fever. He has laid around all day, and every now and then has little bursts of energy but crashes on the floor complaining EVERYTHING hurts. He has cried with his tummy, legs and feet ALL day. Kinda has me worried. I called the dr. and she said unless his fever gets up higher or has it for more than a day they really won't be able to do anything. Don't want to give him antibiotics for something that may pass in a day. So I am giving him tylenol and he's been asleep since 1:00. That's so far a 3hr nap for a kid that barely naps 1hr. Hopefully he will feel better when he wakes up?!

Please forgive me

When I orginally committed to keeping a blog, it was with full intentions of it being about Seth and our family. However, the last couple days as God has really been doing a work in our life, it hasn't turned out that way. Life is going on as normal, Seth continues to amaze me daily and crack me up with silly little things, but the move God is doing in our life has really taken the front seat.

Yesterday, all of our family met to give the final inspection of the house I truly believe God has provided for us. As of last night John and I, after much prayer, sent word to go ahead with the purchase. I'm so excited, but as I tell people I find myself saying "Now keep in mind, it's a fixer-upper and with some paint and our own personal touch blah blah blah" The house is in by no means in unliveable state, it just an older home and like most could always use some updates.

I was in prayer today while Seth was in class and God spoke the strongest I believe I have EVER heard him speak to me. It was while listening to Third Day sing This is my offering. The song spoke of not having much, but my life is what I have to offer you Lord. Then WHAM!!!!

Listening to the words of that song, God said "Kristi I answered your prayers. I gave you EXACTLY what you asked for. But when I blessed you with it, you turned your nose up and said...Thanks but it's not really good enough. Forgive me Lord.


When John and I prayed, we prayed for a larger home, I remember saying these exact words..."Lord I would love a 3bd 2ba house in the Whitesboro area. We really need to have the 3rd bedroom with the baby coming and we are sharing one bath right now, so if we can only have one bath that is ok, if we can just get that 3rd room."

At that time we were looking at rent houses and I remember also saying that if we could find someone to owner finance that would be such a blessing!!!
Well the Lord provided exactly that. 3bd, 2ba in Whitesboro, owner finance for exactly the price range that will help us get out there, but not put us over our head.

When we were contacted about this offer-yes WE were contacted-we were hesitant. Then when we went to go look at it the first time, we saw an older home that needed repairs. It wasn't one of the new built homes that is our ideal home with new everything in it. So we went home and talked about how we liked it and could do work on it, but it wasn't really what we wanted. Which was really a nice way of saying it wasn't good enough.

I thought about how the Lord is looking for vessels to use. Many times I have asked the Lord for a way to be used by him, to forgive me and show me how I can be a servant. What if he would have taken a first glance at me, with all my faults and failures and said, Thanks but no thanks, your not really good enough!

I have learned a very important lesson today, as well as being extremely humbled. The Lord is good isn't he. I am so glad he saw the potential in this "fixer upper" and saw that with a good scrub, fresh coat of paint, I could turn out to be exactly what was needed.

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers, for daily reminding me of your love and for continually seeing past my faults to what lies within.

What a week!

The past week has been unreal. It doesn't look like this week is going to slow down any either. My head is spinning with all that has been going on.

~Possibility of gettin a house
~Yesterday the dr. told me he heard two hearbeats but we have to wait till June 6th to find out for sure w/an ultrasound...you're killing me doc!
~Leaving town this weekend for graduation, plus it's my bday
~and just everyday life. I know more has happened but I'm pretty sure i've repressed some memories!

So what i've decided to do is go back over the past 2 yrs and try my best to remember all the little things that I know I am slowly forgetting. I know with my parents and Johns I've heard "which one of the kids was it that did..." So this will be a work in progress but I want to try and remember who said and did what. So one day I can look back on this print it out and put it in my scrapbook (ha if it ever gets finished)

Love it when Seth says:
Come on, lets get sumpin to eat
spits it out and says Seth can't like it

days when we play pirate and i'm capan mommy
tell him he's the best Seth, big boy seth, or whatever Seth and he say "nu uh, I not..., I'm just Seth"
used to call chicken nuggets bockers Everytime we'd pass McD's he ask for bockers.
calling oranges baby fruit
bbq chips are fire chips
overexagerating anything with a "T" i'm eat-tin, sit-tin
love how he talks about brother grover at our church: bruhder growver
anything in a coffee cup is his coffee: orangejuice, choc milk
everything is "i'm" yes i'm am, i'm love you
chick fil a is chicken lay
he likes to walk on his feel oppossed to walking on his shoes
the fan is the wind
each morning "wake up it's almost 6 o'clock"
playing yucky man, dr shrinky and captian hammer going to the tower of power!
don't 'getfor' your hugs and sugars
telling me secrets and questions at night (you're my best friend)
calling footie pj's zipper zippers
mini corndogs=meat-in-the-bread
lunchables = meat and cheese in the box
obsession with dinosaurs-at 2.5 he was telling me dino facts about a giganotasaurus.
having someone 'tect' him (protect)
cracks in stores are rigged with booby traps
watching him dance with captain huggy pants





This list will continue to grow and is for me personally. You don't think you will, but so much goes on and you do start to forget. So sad how fast time goes.

Early Mother's Day

If Sunday is a completely uneventful day for me, then I will be fine. I was given my MD gift early this year, and he doesn't even realize it.

Friday while trying FOREVER to get Seth to take a nap, I was at my wits end. So instead of getting frustrated (i'm working on that) I told him he had to lay there till I was done napping. I leaned back against the wall and was seriously going to nap...I was pooped people.

I felt him slowly grab my arm and then give it a big squeeze. "mmmmmmm, I love you. You are the best mommy ever" I melted.

I swept him up, gave him a big hug and finally just relaxed a little and that's how he feel asleep, in a big hug.

So flowers, card, gifts, all that is nice and don't get me wrong i'll take 'em. But the unrehearsed little moments of a 2yr old is what makes it all the more special.



On a much less sentimental note, I have a funny Seth story. Now remember i'm writing this with his grandparents in mind too but my big mouth calls them every time he does something cute, so this site it totally useless to them. I'm sure they won't mind hearing it again. Here's what happened.

We got in trouble for saying our first "bad" word. He got frustrated and said "oh dangit" So I told him that we don't say that word and tried to replace it with bummer. He however, had his own ideas. Next time I heard "davnevit" I whipped my head around, what did you say. "davnevit". I cracked up. Where he has heard dagnabit (we are thinking apongebob) is beyond me. So if you are frustrated and at a loss for a word, give davnebit a try!

First song that I sing

For the last month or so I have REALLY been trying to work on having a closer relationship with God. Then this Wednesday I had a very bad day. We are expecting our 2nd baby in Nov. and Wed. is when I just got sick of wearing my 3 versions of sweats that are the only things I can still fit into. So it was one of those "I don't have anything to wear, my hair looks like poop, where did these 17 chins come from? And if my husband would have so much as looked at me wrong...BAM!" I even warned him he might not want to come home for lunch because it was a no win day for him!

So I dress my sweats up as much as I can, and take Seth to class. After dropping him off, the radio caught my attention. I'm sure this song has been playing for a while, but if it doesn't have farm animals in the title then I probably haven't heard it :P

I just caught the very end, but it was enough to turn my day around. It's funny how God works,cause that very night we finally got some news that we have been waiting for. It was the go ahead to be able to discuss a life changing opportunity with our family. We have been on pins and needles, because we deperately want to make the right decision and need all the prayer and guidance we can get. But had I heard this news when I was having an emotional breakdown, my reaction would have been completely different and I don't think I would have been as open to what God may be leading us to do. God knew what I needed to hear and what was going to happen. Even though I can't see the end, he is there leading my every step. As long as I listen that is-which is hard for me. I just really wish God would clear his plans through me first so I know what we're doing!!!!! :)

So here is the song I heard, and I have found myself trying to live this. I was so tired this morning after getting off work, but I couldn't lay down and rest because this song was so strong in my head. I spent some time in prayer and singing what I could remember of the song and apparently I got peace because I woke up when Seth told me I wasn't sleepy anymore. Then he dragged the covers off me and said "it's wakeup time mommy, Seth want baby fruit" (these are the little cutie pie oranges he loves)
Haha, he also spit one out and told me he doesn't like the ones with little peanuts in them!!! This is such a fun age! But i'm off topic.

Figuring this out

So I am all new to this and it will take me a while to understand how to work this site. So please be patient and I hope to soon have amusing Seth stories, as well as my own crazy thoughts. But for now, hope this brings a little smile to your day...it did mine :P


*driving past park*
Look mommy, do you see it...the watermelon?
Oh are the people eating watermelon?
No (like i'm stupid), the watermelon up in the sky. It has the rain and goes down down down, all the way to the ground.

Took me forever, but I finally figured it out.
So this is our family's new definition of watermelon per a 2yr old: