Daniel and the puppet bus

So some of the girls and I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible study on Daniel. Of all the studies that i've done, this has been the most eye opening study ever. I highly recommend each of you to do it.

I won't get into everything about it just yet because i'm working on a project i'm very excited about and if I start talking now, I won't shut up and i'll spoil it! So again, let me just say that if you need a change in your life this is a good study to do!

ON a totally different note, i'm excited about future plans to start back with the children's church. I stepped down after having Seth and enjoyed the break but ready to get back. We have an old school bus at our church that is drivable except that it leaks power steering fluid. Have you ever tried to drive your own car without that stuff...imagine a school bus!!!! But plans are being cooked up to turn it into a puppet bus and i'm sooooo excited. i've found some really good deals on puppets and i'm working on making some blacklight puppets. I've pulled out some of my old stuff from the drugbusters rally in St. Louis I went to couple times in high school. And hope to get some of the older youth involved in my 3 man puppets. I also hope they will be game for some blacklight hand routines. We'll see how it all plays out. I posted this video I found that kinda give you an idea just in case you've never seen blacklight pupppets or hand routines before. I hope to record and show you some of our own very soon! :)

Terrific Thursday

Not a lot to say because pictures are pretty self explanitory. Words couldn't even begin to explain the wonderfulness of this day anyway. Played kick the cone (if you watch dinosaur train then you know what i'm talking about) We all enjoyed having some fun in the yard, just lovin' these family days.

*let me point out that I realize my wrap is pink. I borrowed it from Tara to see if Aaron would like it, which he does. But I have yet to be able to find some boy material. I'm a girl, so the pink is for me! As you will see the yard work was hard on Aaron, so he had to take a nap :)

Well, let's see...

Sunday we decided to get out of town for a bit and went to Joe's Crab Shack. It was sooo good and Seth loved the shark hanging from the ceiling in there. We ate ourselves silly, including Seth who ate pizza, french fries (his meal), fish, shrimp, crab dip and chips! I was impressed :)

Monday, we were lazy till about lunch time, it was nice. Went to Cackle and Oink for lunch and got a delicious mucho dog, then just hung around. It was a nice relaxing day.

Then Tuesday, Seth and I went to walmart by ourselves for two hours! We had so much fun getting to spend some quality time together. Then he supervised as I cooked with John's help, chicken fried steak, mashed taters, steamed veggies and rolls. John did so good keeping Aaron by himself. I never had any worries about John keeping him, and he's always been willing but Aaron on the other hand...
He kept him again that night and I was able to run up and see Rachel at the hospital after her surgery. I'm glad that's over with for her and hopefully she will start to feel better!

Then Wednesday, we went to the Gainesville Zoo. It was soooo cold this morning waiting in line for tickets, when finally the clouds broke and the sun came out! We had such a great time, even though its small I just love that little zoo. Seth got to see the lady feed the bear, and he fed some elks and a goat. It was so crowded today being spring break and the zoo's birthday. I was excited to see the business for them and it worked great for us because they had a cheap concession stand. $3 for a hotdog, chip and drink. So we had ourselves a little picnic lunch. Seth really enjoyed it and kept looking to the sky while repeating "It's such a beautiful day for a picnic" We rode the train afterwards for the first time, but sadly halfway through the train derailed and we had to walk back. Both boys were great all day long and made for a nice family day!!!

on a side note...Rachel was finally released from the hospital no longer containing a gallbladder. She is sore but doing good. I hope this really helps her feel better and back on track.
Also, so thankful my sister in law is ok. God has his protecting hand on her. She was in a terrible car accident today and is lucky to have walked away from it alive. A truck broke down in a turning lane, another person was going to try and make it through anyway, realized she couldn't and stopped on the highway. Kim hit her going 70! She has some bumps and bruises but nothing serious. Scary to think about what could have been, so i'm not. I'm just thanking the Lord for keeping her safe!

And not to leave you on a sad note, here's our day at the zoo!

Did you read what I said...

So I went to go get us supper last night and...first did you read that?

I went to go get us supper. "I" went to go get us supper, hang on let's read that again.... "I" went to go get up supper...

So what's with that you might ask. Well, let me explain.

John started working 2 jobs last Aug and I was pregnant. It wasn't long before I had gotten so big that walking really did me in. So if John was home he ran to the store. If I went, it was usually because he wasn't home and I had the kids with me.
Aaron was born in Nov. and (little TMI here)since i'm nursing i'm on a very short leash. We have tried and tried to get him to take a bottle with NO luck. I'm not sure why, but he also REFUSED to allow anyone to calm him but me. It wasn't a cry it out and eventually he'd give in. No it was a scream that turned him blue till he'd pass out kinda ordeal. So I just never pushed it. He was also born during a stressful time, not only for us, but for all of our family and I think that had an affect on him.
The first month of his life, my side of the family was contaminated with swine flu, and my dad had knee surgery and couldn't make it up the stairs. John's side of the family had a change in work schedules and slept during the day and worked at night. John was gone all the time, so it was me and the boys.
I didn't leave much because one, i'd just had a baby and stairs are not easy. And two, it seemed like everytime I did Seth would fall asleep. So what i'd do is lock Seth in the car, run the baby in carrier up the stairs, run back down grab Seth carry him up, unlock the door, then grab the carrier and we'd all go in. I didn't go anywhere past 4 because it got dark early and it scared me to do that at night.

The point of all that is to say, I don't know how long before the baby was born, but since he's been born I have not been out by myself very much. In fact, last night was like the 2nd time in 4 months. (1st time was when I talked to you Tiff after getting my haircut and we kept playing phone tag over your dr appt. Same time Kisha we started talking about getting your hair colored and I mentioned Tammy's) The only time i'd had privately was going to the bathroom and even those were few and far between :) You momma's know how all this goes.

So my trip last night to grab supper was wonderful. I felt like i'd won the lottery and didn't know what to do!!! What to do, what to do? So...I ran into the dollar store before grabbing the dairy queen order that had been called in. Let me tell ya, kid-in-a-candy-store!!!! I bought some essentials while I was there too. Oreo's, hostess cupcakes, lucky charms and honeybuns....hahahahahahah sugar much? Don't judge me people, I got excited ok! Anyway, i'm hoping that since Aaron has matured a little and is more content with others, goes longer between feedings that a change is coming. Maybe, just maybe, I might get an evening with John soon?

So...how was your meeting today?

When John started working two jobs, we tried to make meal time our time to shut everything down and catch up on a little family time. Even if it was just the short time he came home for lunch.

After we said our prayer and started eating, i'd usually ask John how work was going, he'd ask how our day was. Seth would tell daddy what he'd been doing for the day and so on. John had a couple interviews during that time, and when it was time for him to go, I'd have Seth come over and we would pray for daddy while he went to his 'meeting' (how do you explain interview?) We prayed that if this was where God wanted daddy's new office to be then it would be a good meeting.

I'm going to do my best to vividly describe this setting for you so hang with me.

Picture it, Sicily 1923...oh wait that's Golden Girls! he he

But seriously, you know how on movies they are having an important dinner, someone picks up their fork and is about to take a bite when they stop, lean their hand and fork against their cheek and look seriously at the other person before asking an important meaningful question? Then they go back to eating, while waiting for the answer. Ok, well picture that whole scene while reading this.

John comes home for work, we all sit ,say our prayer and start with our usual routine. John and I are talking when we turn to Seth for his input. He goes to take a bite of chicken, stops and as casual as can be asks John, "So...how was your meeting today? hahahaha

To this day, everytime we sit down to eat or before we go to bed we get asked this question. I absolutely love it and think it's the cutest thing ever. So now I'll ask you... how was your meeting today?!

Life is short

My grandma lost her sister on Monday. That is the 2nd sibling she has lost recently, and I can't imagine her pain. I have no idea what I would do if I lost Rachel or Jeremiah.

I don't make a move without calling or texting Rachel. I mean seriously, we are ALWAYS talking to each other about the dumbest of things.

And Jeremiah and I are really starting to get close again. He's 18, so we went through the big sister is not the coolest time period. I can't blame him, at 16 you can drive and run around with your friends and when you can have teenage fun, who needs a pregnant sister hangin around.

I can't tell you how proud I am of both of them and who they've become. My sister is in the United States Air force, now reservist and at times I forget what an accomplishment that is. First off...boot camp would have kicked my tail!!!! But she made it through that, has since earned her Staff Sargent and has made it back home safely from two deployments...Iraq and Afghanistan. She worked on the munitions team assembling bombs, then loaded them on trucks to be used. I'm sure my military terminology is lacking but that's the jist of it. I can't even wrap my head around her doing this. It was a long hard time for all of us while she was gone, and I wasn't the one sleeping in a bunker, dealing with spiders the size of small animals, stuck in the middle of a desert. She is almost out, and hopefully she will make it all the way without another deployment. She is now in nursing school, which is not an easy task either, and will graduate in July. I couldn't be prouder of her.








My brother has graduated and gone on to represent the State of Texas as an FFA Officer. He is traveling the state meeting and hobnobbing with different political representatives, as well as traveling to schools for speaking engagements to encourage and further awareness of agriculture. If you are not familiar with the FFA, that might not sound like a big deal and to some it's not, but it's pretty impressive in my book.
Now when you think of agriculture you probably think corn, pigs and farmers :P This is true, but agriculture affects so much more, and this is the awareness they are helping to spread. Here is an idea of just how much taken from the official FFA page
www.texasffa.org

Are there any jobs in agriculture?

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, at least 22 million people in the United States work in one of over 300 careers that exist in the field of agriculture. While most people think of farming when the word agriculture is mentioned, there are agriculture-related jobs in veterinary science, marketing, food processing, retail sales and timber harvesting. It is estimated that one in five people in the United States are working in jobs connected to agriculture.

I wish I had a list of all the different people he has meet, or memories he has made during this journey, but I don't. I just have vague remembered details of them. One of him meeting a man from Iraq who own most of the countries oil supply in Basra. He was very impressed and is interested in Jeremiah and his team coming to Iraq to do their thing. Jeremiah and one of his friends were responsible for showing him around and the man had such a good time with them he needed to buy a TX cowboy hat to try and be a 'Texas' lol. I thought that was neat, but secretly hopes he NEVER goes!!! My brother also attended the Texas Top 100 dinner, for the richest people in TX. Micheal Dell was one that attended, who I had no idea was a college drop out that started putting computers together in his dorm room. He is now one of the youngest billionaires at 40 *could you imagine?!!!*. Jeremiah was chosen to give the speech in Austin at the Capital followed by lunch with Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchinson...together. He said that was pretty interesting cause they had their people relaying messages because they wouldn't speak directly to each other. That was kinda funny to me. Anyway,once he finishes his year of being a state officer, he will be going to Texas Tech to pursue pharmacology. I know he will succeed in anything he tries to do!




Not that you wanted or needed to know all this about my siblings, but it was just to say i'm proud of them. I often take it for granted the fact I can just pick up the phone to call or text Rachel. Wait for the weekends that Jeremiah gets to come home to listen to his new stories and what they have done. I know that your heart does not swell with pride the way mine does for them, but i'm sure it does for your own family. It doesn't take great achievements for us to love our family. Mine as of yet has simply been my children and I one day hope to add a college degree to that list. But if I never do, I know I am loved just the same.

We are not promised tomorrow, the next phone call, the next weekend full of stories. Life is such a precious gift that we take for granted. I don't want to 'hope' that my family and friends know how much I love and care for them. I want to KNOW they know because I made a point of telling them so.

So to each of you that read this blog, my friends and family,
Amanda
Casie
Glenda
Jeanette
Kisha
Tara
Tiffani
Tonya
and any one else that may stop that i'm not aware of, I love you all and thank you for being a part of my life!

New computer!!!!!!!

I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP!!!!!!

I'm soooo excited, if you haven't noticed. I have never had a new computer before, they have always been hand-me-downs that are usually operating on systems from about 3yrs back.

Well, tonight we went to Best Buy to check them out and get an idea of what we needed to save for. But when it came time to leave, John whipped in at the checkout line and we took one home. (thank you tax return)

I was shocked, as well as sick to my stomach, and incredibly excited. John is such a great guy. He said he wanted to make sure I was all ready to go back to school.

Yes, you read that right...school! I will be starting back this fall. I'm absolutely terrified! I have plans of meeting with a counselor soon to see where I stand on my degree. When I stopped, I was one year and student teaching away from Education Degree. I'm sure so many state requirements have changed that it will be like starting over. Which if so is fine because teaching is not what I want to do-REALLY.

I love being in the classroom, but absolutely fell in love with social work. While going to school, I took a job at North Texas Youth Connection (formerly juvenile alternative center) I worked with AT RISK teens and their families in the STAR Program.

My job was to field calls of families with disputes or those that were court ordered to our center to help them resolve family issues. I would listen to them and their issues as a family, then interview them individually. After doing a brief assessment, I would set them up with counseling and enroll them into life skill classes: anger management, resolving conflict peacefully, drug abuse...etc.

After they had completed their required time, I would assess the counselor's notes and consult with them to see if sessions needed to be continued or not.

We also handled the suicide hotline and worked in the shelter with the foster children. And since we were a 'safe place' also counseled runaways. I'm glad to hear that they have since opened a transitional living place for foster children, but I hope to one day open a series of my own.
Can you imagine, for whatever reason, you are removed from your family at an older age. No one wants to adopt you because of your 'baggage' and most people want a baby. So you bounce around from foster home or shelter till at 18 when you age out and are expected to take care of yourself?!!! How scary.

More than anything, I want a place for them to go from 18-21. During this time, they will have house parents, be expected to get a job while learning basic skills such as laundry, cleaning, budgeting, banking and social skills. How much more of a chance in life would these kids have. That is my true goal and what I want to do with my life.

Which brings me back to the topic of school! If I have to start over basically, then I will change to social services. But if not I'll finish my education degree and hopefully get some type of certifications that can transfer me over into that area. Who knows how it will all work out, but having a new laptop has got me one step closer to getting there :)

feeling guilty but wanting to keep my sanity

Have you ever wanted to run away?
Well, I have and do. Oh, I want to come back but to be gone for a couple hours would be nice. I feel bad for thinking this, but I may go insane if I don't soon.

What would I do you ask, well let's see:

Take a shower or go to the bathroom with no interruptions.
Read a book or six
crochet
sew
cross-stitch
go look at flowers
actually sleep
go to a store and just peacefully wonder around

but...

I'd end up at the toy isle and think how much Seth would like this or that toy
see a book I'd like to read them
realize how quiet it is cause I hadn't been singing. *yes, we sing alot in stores and im not sure why, but I like it*
end up in the kids clothes/shoes and want to play dress up
see McDonald's and miss our 'just for a little while' stop (lol apparently i'm at walmart)
then go to the checkout and get a chocolate dream (Hershey bar) for Seth then go back to my happy crazy life till the next time i'm ready to run away again.

It's such a crazy little cycle that I wouldn't trade for the world!

A scare

I have been dying to get on here because I have so many things to say. Sometimes this blog has become a place to vent, those vents rarely get published, but it helps as a release.
But lately, I had many that I wanted to publish but haven't had the time with my sick kiddo's. Thank the Lord they are feeling better, so I will start with them!

I wanted to post about my sick kids and how sad and disappointed I am with their Dr. I hardly ever see her anymore, and I only care and trust one of her NP and after this last visit, I've lost that trust. Seth and Aaron both had strep throat, with a cold and congestion. She gave them both antibiotic and cough medicine. Well, Mr. Seth always reacts to any medicine with hyperactivity, but those that have a warning for it, the reaction is worse.
However, with this stuff it was unbelievable. I'm not even trying to lie and say I have a perfect child. Most of you have seen his activity level and can all confirm he is an active 3yr old. He also has fits, but mostly it's a loud cry of protest and a dirty look that he quickly corrects when given a 'choice' to be a big boy and find his manners himself, or I can help him with a spanking. Either way, his manners are to be found!
But by day 3 it was impossible for him to set still for ANY length of time. He was running everywhere, his pupils were dilated, his heart rate was up, he was sweating to the point I was worried about a heart attack. He was up going strong by 5, and had been up most the night because as he said 'my brain won't shut off mommy and let me sleep and im sooo tired' To get him to sleep, we practically had to lay on him and even then he twitched all night. We had to go back to pullups because of accidents all over the place. And he got sooo mad over the littlest of things.

I called his Dr. and was told they were too busy with actual sick people right now to have a consultation visit!!! (i'm convinced this is simply the opinion and doing of the receptionist who is NOT a friendly person) I started doing research on my own, and was surprised when everything I found about his meds said it is NOT to be given to asthma patients without having a test to figure out special dosing. It causes 'unusual, abnormal behavior. Extreme aggression and irritably, hyperactivity, incontinence, seizures, blackouts and hallucinations'
With the exception of blackouts we experienced them ALL. We had to strip him down, as well as the bed and 'pretend' to kill all the spiders that were after him. I had said his tremors looked like night seizures before finding this info, now i'm not sure they weren't. At one point we had such a meltdown that I sat in the chair with one arm hooked under one leg, the other behind his head and held my wrists towards the front of him as he proceeded to growl, spit, hit, bite, pull hair and scream. I just rocked him, sang quietly and told him how much we loved him. When he fought it out, he broke into sobs saying how sorry he was, he didn't mean to it was just an accident.
Now that is not my baby, and not at all how he acts. It was honestly like he was possessed. I was thankful for my restraint training and having my passed experience of working with behavioral disorders so that I wasn't totally freaked out by it and knew how to hold him so that neither of us got hurt. It completely broke my heart to see him that way. I called my parents after this, and had my dad pray that these reactions would ease. I asked him to have our church pray for him as well at church the next day. *my dad is our pastor for those of you who might not have known that little tidbit of information*
This could be a whole other post, but I am a FIRM believer in the healing power of prayer. I have seen it happen to many times for others and in my own life. Saturday night was our first tremor free night and the first of returns of peaceful sleep. A coincidence...I think not. He also woke up Sunday morning and his eyes were not bugged out of his had, and pupils were only slightly dilated. A significant difference. Thank you Lord!
We are now off the meds (we did not finish after I read all that) and had a pretty hard come down the first few days. But we are steadily getting back to our old self and so thankful for it. Needless to say, we will be finding a new pediatrician.

This is a picture I took of what he looked like on this stuff, isn't that scary!